Valentine gift ideas for your bae - So, you’ve followed our expert advice and successfully bagged yourself a Valentine. Congratulations. Now comes the hard part—keeping them. And as history has proven time and time again, nothing keeps people in relationships better than good old-fashioned bribery.
Never fear, for your relationship bestie is here to help you out. We understand your plight, so in the spirit of ensuring your romance doesn’t expire before the weekend, here are some Valentine gift ideas for your bae:
Plot of Land on The Moon
Real estate on earth is too basic; your babe deserves the best; they deserve something completely out of this world. So why not? Sure, there's no life on the moon, and the atmosphere could kill you, but this is a prime investment. Think of the amount of development that Elon’s crew could make there in the next 50 years; by then, your investment would have 50 times the price. Thank us later.
Apartment on Banana Island
Ok, we get it. Intergalactic real estate isn’t everyone’s thing (been there, done that). You want something tangible, something you can present to your babe and your Instagram followers without people asking you if you're mad.
Nothing says I love you better than a ₦2.5 million roof over their head (that's if you're lucky) and an estate full of Nigeria’s elite. Sure, you might have to sell your entire generation to afford rent, but what is love if you do not take risks and make reckless financial decisions?
Their JAPA Funds
Love is patient and kind, but love also knows when it’s time to secure the bag and run. In this case, it's away from the country. And let’s be honest—your bae has been side-eyeing their passport for months now. So why not make their dreams come true?
Forget teddy bears and chocolate. Show that you care about their future and well-being; the real Valentine’s gift is JAPA FUNDS—a fully loaded account dedicated to permanently getting them out of this country. Housing? Covered. Flight ticket? First class, if you really care. Proof of funds? Say less.
Manchester United Winning the Premier League
Some gifts require money. Others require effort. This? This requires prayers, fasting, and divine intervention.
Let’s be real—United fans have been hoping for a Premier League title since 2013, but at this point, hope is doing more work than the team itself. Every season starts with “This is our year,” and by December, it’s “we go again next season we go again.” So if you can somehow make this happen, just know you’ve outdone Valentine’s Day itself; your partner won’t just love you—they’ll worship you. And honestly? You’d deserve it.
A Personal Soldier For Lagos Traffic
Roses are red, and violets are blue, but your bae needs armed backup on Third Mainland Bridge.
Let’s be honest—Lagos traffic is not just a road problem; it’s an extreme sport. One minute, you’re peacefully driving, and the next, a Danfo has barged into your lane, and Okada is threatening your side mirror.
That’s why this Valentine's is the perfect gift—it’s a personal soldier, not perfume or dinner. Someone to clear the roads, scatter hold-ups, and blow sirens so your partner can safely drive. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.
A Landlord That Actually Fixes Things
Now, this? This is a generational blessing. Because landlords literally don’t fix anything—they send “I will look into it” texts and then vanish like salary after debit alerts.
Leaky roof? “Ah, small rain you dey complain?”
No running water? “Go call the caretaker.”
Gate broken? “Just use your hand to shift it small.”
At this point, tenants are basically their own facility managers, funding repairs for a house they don’t even own. So, if you somehow find a landlord who fixes things without being chased for six months, just know you’ve found a national treasure.
A Job That Pays Them to Sleep
See, the thing is—your bae isn’t lazy; they’re just chronically exhausted by life itself. Work stress, Lagos traffic, dollar exchange rates—it’s a full-time job just to exist.
Imagine waking up, doing nothing, and getting paid for it. No deadlines, no KPIs, no “quick Zoom calls” that turn into two-hour meetings. Just soft pillows, direct credit alerts, and uninterrupted sleep.
If you can secure this job for your partner, just know you’ve won Valentine’s Day forever. Because what’s better than love? Love that comes with a salary and sweet, stress-free sleep.
Therapy
Let’s be honest—as Nigerians, they need it. And if they’re dating you? They certainly need it.
Look, love is beautiful and all, but have you seen how they react when the network goes down for 5 minutes? Or the fact that they still argue about that one thing from 2021, like it happened yesterday? Unresolved trauma is doing overtime.
This Valentine’s Day, give them something truly priceless—a chance to unpack all their childhood issues in a safe space. No more “it is well” or “God dey” as a coping mechanism. Let them sit on a comfy couch, talk about their feelings, and finally admit that maybe—just maybe—their “village people” aren’t the problem
An iPhone 20
We all know it’s coming; it's just when that's the issue. But why wait for the release date when you can be the future and gift your bae an iPhone that the manufacturers haven't even dreamt of yet?
If you can’t figure out how to bend the spacetime continuum for love, then you’re not ready for this relationship thing.
Dollars. Just Dollars
No explanation. No speeches. If you really love them, just send the dollars.
Forget physical touch and words of affirmation—the actual love language is USD. That’s how you show that you care. No more “babe, the money for this month’s rent is tight,” “Let’s just manage this one,” or “I’ll send the rest later.” Just drop them dollars and watch the suffering melt away.
Final Words
And that's all we have for today on valentine gift ideas for your bae, folks. We hope these ideas help you wow your babe this Valentine’s.
Forget the usual stuff—this year, make it count. If it’s a plot of land on the moon or just dropping dollars, just do something that you’re not like others and that you're serious. Be sure to let us know how it goes, and as always, don't forget to subscribe and share this with someone who needs help coming up with gift ideas for their babe this Valentine.
As always, we are D’Gallery TV, Bringing You Only The Stories You Need till next time.
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