How to Enter A Relationship Before Valentine - Valentine is coming, and you have no babe; singleness has made camp on top of your matter, but not for long. We are here to save you from this dry spell and give you that fairytale love your heart aches for.
If you follow the tips we've provided on how to enter a relationship before Valentine, you can be confident of success.
So, without further ado, here's how to enter a relationship before Valentine, even with your bad character:
1. Follow them around like a monitoring spirit
How else will they know you're interested if you're not like MTN—everywhere they go? Do they go to the gym? You’re now a gym body. Do they post about reading books? You’re suddenly the founder of a book club. If they say they like quiet people, congratulations; you’ve taken a vow of silence. Become their shadow. Move like a GLO 1GB bonus that refuses to finish. Let them start asking, “Abeg, who sent you to me?” because, at that point, love is near.
2. Religious blackmail works wonders
Tell them you had a vision—God Himself whispered in your dream that they’re your soulmate. If they resist, shake your head and say, “Who are we to question the Lord?” This will confuse them, as they would not like to question God's mysterious ways. If they’re still proving stubborn, escalate—get their pastor to ‘coincidentally’ confirm it during Sunday service. If your strategy is airtight, they’ll be at the altar saying “I do” before realizing what’s happening.
3. Hire A Fake Ex To Chase You
Nothing boosts your market value like looking wanted. If nobody is checking for you, create the illusion. Pay someone to be your deranged ex—the type that randomly shows up at your office, wailing, “You left me for this person? After everything I've done for you?”
Make sure they're being dramatic in public—at the market, a bus stop, or better yet, outside your church just after service. Your love interest will suddenly start seeing you in 4K—“Wait, so you’re the kind of person people are crying over?” Before you know it, they’ll look at you with new respect, wondering if they should collect their share of the experience.
4. Befriend their parent/sibling first
Family is for life. Parents are the actual decision-makers, and if you secure their approval, their child will have no choice but to follow suit.
Start with the mother; bonus points if she’s overbearing, show up at her shop and help her sell. If she runs a restaurant, be there washing plates like that's what you were born to do. Call her Mama with confidence, add “Yes, ma” after every sentence, and randomly buy her ankara and asoebi once in a while. Do this until she says, “You’re like a child to me.” Congratulations, you’re in.
Now, if the dad is the key player, it’s even easier. Buy him his favorite beer, nod aggressively at everything he says, and if he supports Arsenal, you’re now an Arsenal fan with years of knowledge—no questions asked. Once he starts calling you “My pikin',” just know that you have this shit in the bag.
Their child might still be forming hard to get, but let’s be honest—what Nigerian child will disobey their parents when they say, “That person is good for you”? Exactly. You’re practically engaged already.
5. Copy and Paste Their Personality
If they love Wizkid, congratulations—you’ve been a Wizkid fan since. Not just his music, though. You've been following his journey since he was in primary school, an OG fan. Do they love K-dramas? You now have a 10-slide PowerPoint on why Crash Landing on You changed your life and deserves a national holiday.
The goal is to mirror their interests so well that they start thinking, “Wow, where have you been all my life?” - If they mention a weird hobby, act like you’ve been waiting for someone like them.
“You hand-make scented candles? No way! I’ve been looking for someone to teach me how to infuse cinnamon into my manifestation wax.”
They'll text their friends before they can even blink: “Omo, I think I’ve found the one.” Hook, line, Valentine.
6. Gaslight Them Into a Love Story
They say there’s a thin line between love and hate—your job is to shatter that line and rebuild it in your favor. Start by making them despise you. Argue about pointless things—insult their taste in music, claim Ghanaian jollof is better, say “OAU is overrated” if they schooled there. Just pick small, foolish fights until they can’t stand the sight of you.
At first, they'll be fuming, sending voice notes to their friends about “this annoying person that keeps testing my patience.” But that’s when you now change it for them. One day, they’ll catch you helping an old woman cross the road or laughing with a child or something, and suddenly, their brain will betray them—Wait, are they actually… nice?
Next thing you know, they’ll be texting you first. “You’re not that terrible, I guess.” And just like that, the storm is over now. The enemies-to-lovers trope is complete. They think they discovered your soft side, but you had everything planned from the start.
7. Confuse Them Into Falling for You
Today, you’re the sweetest human alive—15 good morning messages in different languages, voice notes about how you dreamt of them, and a playlist called "Songs That Remind Me of You."
Tomorrow? You walk past them like they're the ghost. No eye contact, no acknowledgment, nothing. If they breathe too close to you, you act like they’re a stranger who just asked for money for a bolt ride.
This hot-and-cold routine will keep their brain working overtime. Are you interested? Are you playing games? Are they the problem?? Before they can figure it out, boom, they’re too deep. One night, they’ll stare at the ceiling, thinking, “Why can’t I stop thinking about this person?”
And just like that, you’ve won.
8. Feed Them Into Submission
They say food is the closest way to the heart. People fall in love better when their stomachs are full. Start small. Casually drop snacks in their bag, leave bottled drinks on their desk, and randomly show up with their favorite meal like it’s no big deal.
At first, they’ll enjoy the free food because who wouldn't? But then something changes. They stop cooking. They stop buying food outside. They start waiting for you to come through with your perfectly timed deliveries. That’s when the magic happens.
Suddenly, you’re all they think about. They’ll be in a meeting, and their stomach will rumble—not for food, but for your food. They’ll toss and turn at night, wondering how they lived without your special Afang soup and homemade pounded yam.
By the time they realize what’s happening, it’s too late. You control their stomach, their cravings, and their peace of mind. And it’s only a matter of time until you control their hearts.
9. Hire an elder to “advise” them
Get an older person from your area—preferably one with a wise face—to pull them aside and say, “My child, do not ignore the blessings in front of you.” No further explanation. Just vibes.
10. Agressive Motivation
Be so supportive that they have no choice but to fall for you. "Wow, you blink so perfectly." "You have the best handwriting I’ve ever seen; you should be in the Guinness Book of World Records." Inflate their ego so much that they start thinking, Maybe I am special. And maybe… I should be with the only person who sees it.
Don't Go Yet!
So, there you have it—how to enter a relationship before Valentine, even if you're a walking red flag. iF Forget self-improvement; show up, be your charmingly flawed self, and hope for the best. Who needs emotional growth when you can charm someone with just a wink and a promise of "I’ll change"? - After all, relationships are built on the thrill of unpredictability, right? So, go ahead and make that grand, imperfect entrance. Valentine’s Day is practically begging for more drama, and you just might get lucky!
How to enter a relationship before Valentine
Responses (1 )